3 Secrets to a Happy Life

I’ll start by saying the only true joy in this life is knowing Christ - as a Christian that is what I truly believe.  No matter the situation and many Christians have faced far more difficult lives compared to mine, we know that we can have joy in Christ.  If none of these practical tips I am about to say can apply to you for whatever reason, there is the truth that we have joy in Christ in this life and then a perfect eternity awaiting in the next one.  Beyond this truth and because I live a life where I do have certain aspects of control over my circumstances, I found three of my best tips to living a happy life.  Maybe these are obvious, but nonetheless I had to discover them for myself and maybe you do too.  

Break free from your addiction to technology

I really don’t want to be another voice hating on technology in a complete black and white no nuance type of way. Technology is extremely helpful, and I use it every single day in the job that allows me to make a living.  There is plenty of helpful information and inspiration online that can benefit a lot of people.  Let me rewind back to my teenage years for a second though.  In middle school, myspace and facebook were the thing to have.  Then in high school came instagram and snap chat.  There were no studies at the time about the effect this was having on people let alone adolescents, just a few comments from adults who laughed at kids glued to their new iphones.  As an adult now, I can see how growing up in the guinea pig era of social media shaped me as a person.  I was addicted to my phone and social media.  I felt emptiness without it.  Even if I had good experiences without my phone, I felt a draw to go back to it over and over again and it took priority over pretty much anything else in my life.  Teenage girls are already a more fragile group who need to mature and learn not to fall into comparison and fitting in and doing everything for a boy's attention, but add in social media and that maturity was even further out of grasp and normal adolescent struggles were exaggerated by ten.  It took me too long into adulthood to get a grasp on this addiction, and set up strict boundaries with technology.  I still have an iphone and I still am online and sometimes I still slip into the addictive mindset, but I actively try not to and strive to live my life mostly offline.  Once this shift occurred, the results were obvious.  Less comparison, less anxiety, less information overload and shouldering the burdens of the entire world, more peace, more space to think my own thoughts, more creativity, more intentional living with the direct world and people around me.  Addiction to screens - specifically my phone and social media, was preventing me from living the life I was called to and the dreams I had.  Praise God for the way I was able to break free from mindless scrolling and consumption of everyone else’s thoughts and opinions enough to live my life with purpose and peace.  We should break free from any addiction really, but specifically for most people today, the addiction to technology.  

Going outside

This is obvious.  It’s slightly embarrassing that this wasn’t so obvious to me.  I believe it is partly connected to my first tip - when you are so addicted to screens you do not see the benefit of going outside or maybe you’ll only do it to get a good picture.  The truth is fresh air is so good for us.  I live in an area with all four seasons - winter is cold and summer is hot and both can be incredibly uncomfortable if you are not prepared.  But you know what?  It is worth the effort to make a way to get outside as much as possible.  As a pale person who gets eaten alive by mosquitoes, I’ve learned to just slather on the sunscreen and bug repellent.  Humans are meant to be outside.  This doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy AC in the summer or heat and a fireplace in the winter, but generally we should be outside in nature which is God’s beautiful creation and gift to us.  It doesn’t even have to be a huge commitment.  I have found that even though the majority of my time is spent in an office job, there are many opportunities to get outside.  A walk during my lunch break or after work.  Drinking coffee or eating meals outside whenever possible.  I could spend all weekend outside if I wanted to, visiting local parks.  I found even if I am working inside, just making sure my windows are letting in a lot of light and opening them to let in some fresh air does a lot to boost my mood.  Whenever you can incorporate “outside time” into your schedule, do it.  For me, it has brought a peace and mental clarity and inspiration I can’t explain other than this was just how it was meant to be.  

Care less

I know the phrase “care less” can come off as selfish and apathetic at first especially in the christian realm, but hear me out.  I am saying care less about the things that you cannot control and the things that do not matter.  Caring less about what others think of you is a good thing.  We’re smart enough to know there’s a difference between a healthy self awareness and accountability vs obsessing over everyone else’s opinion of us, right?  Care less about the things you cannot control.  Maybe you thought you could control something, but it turns out it just is what it is.  Stop caring.  Doesn’t mean you can’t pray and hand it over to God, although I would do so quickly so you don’t dwell on it longer than you need to.  Learn how to prioritize your life to care about the things that do matter and stop caring about what doesn’t.  Only you can do that for yourself.  I’m not saying we can’t ever care about or pray for or even impact global events, but I do think shifting most of our mental energy to our surrounding community and personal relationships is probably a better priority in most cases.  Even in that though, it’s okay to care less.  I don’t mean not caring at all, but let’s make sure we are distinguishing between caring in a proactive, helpful way that allows us to act with intentionality vs dwelling on negative thoughts in a way that destroys our mental peace without ever actually doing anything helpful.  It is really difficult to train your mind to care less in this way, but I find that the discipline of doing it over time gets easier.  In the beginning it will feel unnatural and take a lot of effort to shift your mind to something else, but with repeated practice it becomes second nature.  Caring less in this healthy way which not only allows us but actually helps us to lead intentional lives and practice self control over our emotions is a secret to happiness.  

So there they are, my 3 secrets to a happy life.  Get off the phone, get outside, and train your brain to care less about the things we shouldn’t really be caring about anyway.  Life will always have struggles and sadness and we can always find our ultimate hope and joy in Christ and the eternity that awaits us, but if we can practice practical joy-giving habits along the way let’s do it.